SIAR RAYA

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

i hate you HD

here we go again... what i've been scared the most is just happened today... that's very bad i guess... i felt so terrible, being so damn fucking bad! i've been humiliate with someone i trusted on but i guess i'm totally wrong bout him... i really don't know how stupid it is... i felt so sad, depressed, frustrated, mad, angry, disappointed and everything goes into in my heart... OMG... i really can't expect this would ever happen... i really feel like dying right now...

i'm wondering why could he did this to me... sampainya hati kau buat aku macam ni... kau tahu tak ini adalah satu penghinaan pada aku? kau dah malukan aku depan orang yang tak sepatutnya tanpa satu sebab pun yang membolehkan kau buat macam tu! kau tak ada hak sikit pun nak jatuhkan harga diri aku! aku rasa sangat bodoh sebab percayakan kau!

kau ingat senang2 je ke aku nak maafkan kau hah? aku benci kau! kalau sampai orang tu jadi benci kat aku sebab benda ni, kau akan menyesal sebab pernah buat aku macam ni... kalau kau nak tahu, kau memang silaplah sebab malukan aku macam ni... kau tak kenal lagi siapa aku... i swear u will pay for it!!!

Monday, December 28, 2009

he's the reason


after so long im not posting my wtf stuff here... i would like to start on something new... i hate myself to be in this stupid situation... i hate myself for letting the stupid feeling happen... i'm a real loser... well it wouldn't happen if i know to control myself... to control all the feeling in my heart...

i'm asking myself so many times... why it's happened? and so many why, why and why? however the biggest question mark is for WHY IT MUST BE HIM??? he is my friend and i shouldn't fall for him...

but the thing is... he always be the reason for to smile... he always be the thing to miss when he's not there to see... i know it's so stupid to feel that way... but it's hard for me to stop it... and the most stupid is i felt bad to have it in my heart...

well, can he tell me why i can't see anyone when he's with me? i wonder if he knows that he's all i think about at all times...

we're getting far now... i have to pretend that i don't really care about him... there's no more stalking around... there's no jokes between us... there's nothing... and all i know is i'm always wanted to be with him... to hear his jokes... he's always be the reason for the stupid things in my life... i love it but i hate it...