SIAR RAYA

Monday, May 20, 2013

MY HEART STROKE


Assalamualaikum

When I wrote this post, I've just received a message that my next door neighbour had suffer a stroke. He is like a dad to me. To his dearest family, I hope u could be strong and go through this with strengths and patience. This post may not be helpful but I really hope it would share my spirit and experience.

My mother had a stroke on the LH side of her brain about 11 years ago which affected her RH side. She haven't fully recovered until now. 11 years ago after she initially woke up, she is slurring her speech badly and losing her RH arm and leg use. She wants to sleep 24 hours, and for the few seconds that she woke, she didn't seem to be aware of her surroundings.

The good news was there seems to be some recognition. Mama held my hand whilst awake and seemed to nod when I asked her if she was tired. Also looked at the window when I referred to the sunny weather and tried to smile at me and my dad at least 3 times. Small items but progress from few weeks sleep. I am told by the nurse that she has asked her to smile, which she has done straight away.

I think it sounds positive progress, but the fact that she can't really talk and hasn't eaten is still a massive worry. Because of her almost permanet sleep, I'm told they may try and insert a tube for food as they cannot assess her swallow. After awhile, when she could talk she isn't herself, she was rude to us and keeps trying to get up and pulled out the tube. She even told me to shut up and told me I was stupid.

The doctor said her personality should come back, that she is just delirious because of all the pressure. Anyways, I am just scared and want my mom back, she was my best friend and I called her everyday, it is so hard to not be able to talk to her. She must be hurting, irritated and annoyed inside.

Now after 11 years, on the surface, yes she have returned to a normal life but in the inside you would never dare to know. As you would imagine my initial worry is that my poor mama has only a life to look forward to at best and that is very limited. But the thing is I really annoyed when people said "I'm so sorry about your mom". This will make mama cries a river.

Love, support, compassionate and positive surrounding are always very helpful. Also I always go with "Hang in there, you're not alone". I wanted you to know that when this post was read, I really want to tell you that there is a wonderful lady that have been struggling to live her life to its fullest. She is my mother, I'm proud of her.

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