i'm so tired of pretending. everything is ok. but actually it wasn't. my tears is starting to show and my smile is fading away. i put my heart into all that i wanted with u and u showed me time and time again that i'm not worth the sacrifice. well u won't really miss me until i'm gone. so much pain. i don't want this feeling. my scars are deep and cannot be healed. i'm forever wounded. forever in pain. i can't recover. i am too hurt. why would u cause me this? how could u do this to me? what are u doing to me? what did i ever do to u? the only thing i've ever done is love u. so it's just best if i keep it to myself before i lose too much. but the mostly is i hate that i don't hate u. well someday all will make perfect sense. so for now, i will laugh at the confusion. i will smile through the tears. and keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason.
mai,u should be strong enough to face this challenge..you must thought that its been easy for me to say it..but,remember that i've been through a lot than you..stop dwelling on the thing that can make you sad..its true that crying will make you feel better but too much crying is not good for you my dear..make yourself busy.sooner or later,you'll find yourself forget about that weird kind of feeling..trust me..you still got a lot to do in this colourful life..
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