Belated

we just had dinner . me , ayah , mama and bibik . we're celebrating ayah nye birthday and father's day . i know its kinda late . habis tuh ayah yang busy sangat . so better late than never . we went to RAWA STEAMBOAT at Tmn Pelangi Indah . it's our 1st time there . we arrived at 8 pm . peh ramai na mati orang makan situ . ape la . sedap sangat ke ? well ta try ta taw aite ? it's buffet anyway . so me , ayah and bibik pergi la amek those seafood and drinks . we took like setahun ta makan . ahaha . bukan apa , ayah cakap amek je banyak2 kan da bayar . omg banyak gila choices . bibik was like afraid to take so many cause dia takot kena bayar banyak . ahaha . i cakap "bik , kalau boleh habiskan semua ni , amek je semua ! dia charge ikut orang bukan ikot kuantiti makanan ." peh laju je dia amek . weee . we decided to have 2 soup . chicken and tom yam . then we took chicken wings , beef , satay , and etc nak panggang . penuh 1 table babe . the drinks we choose limau asam boi . pelik punya nama tapi sangat marvelous ! makan makan and makan ta ingat dunia . how fun is that ? patut lah ramai orang . sedaaaap ! ! well lepas makan i broke my own heart with saying this . . " ayah , mama . this will be the last dinner for us . tengok la muka zura puas2 . seminggu je lagi . . " tears were everywhere . bibik pon cakap "adek ta ada nanti sunyi la rumah . . " sebab ramai orang . i tahan je . sebenarnya da nak explode kat situ . mama janji nak na belikan tiket flight untuk i balek jb . cepat and senang . i am so touched . well bukan semua nye boleh senang . i ta na susahkan my parents lagi . i owe them so much . i really want to be a billionaire . yuran uni and semua semua tu costs so many . mesti ayah kena cari duit banyak2 lagi . so kena kerja lagi banyak . mesti ayah sangat sangat penat dan letih cari rezeki . i betul janji dengan diri i . i mesti belajar betul2 and dapatkan kerja yang bagus . i kena jaga ayah and mama . buat hidup mereka senang . buat mereka bangga . i betul2 harap UUM satu tempat yang tepat untuk i . so ta payah i merengek na balek jb je . boleh jimat kan . niat na update pasal tempat makan je tadi . ni da terbuka cerita lain pulak . ahaha . apa apa je . hokay . tata .

p/s : u guys should go to the restaurant . it's a nice place i could say . love , MM .

Ambition

filzah did update her blog with this . bila dah besar , saya nak jadi . .

that's kinda similar to what i'd like to share . when i was in kindergarten [NURI] , my teacher did asked me "maizura dah besar nanti nak jadi apa?" . "DOCTOR!" i replied . memang sangat2 biasa kan ? hampir semua kanak-kanak kalau kita tanya soalan tuh mesti jawapannya "DOCTOR" . mana taknya , kat rumah parents mesti selalu pesan "belajar rajin2 , nanti besar jadi doctor . ." realitinya memang doctor satu pekerjaan yang sangat hebat pun kan . so basically parents always wanted their children to live well and be a great person .

first and foremost , i'd like to dedicate this blog to my one and only sister [NUR FAEZAH ABDULLAH] . believe it or not . masuk je sekolah rendah [SK TAMAN PERLING] . bila soalan tuh ditanya pada i , i akan jawab "saya nak jadi kakak saya!" . kenapa ? sebab i jealous dengan kakak . mama buatkan birthday party untuk kakak and invites kawan2 sekolah dia . kalau i nye birthday party mama invites family je . sangat sengal bukan ? biasalah tu zaman kanak2 ribena lagi.

natijahnya , kalau korang ingat la kan . setiap tahun kita kena isi satu kad besar ni top 3 cita-cita kita . and masa tuh i memang percaya cikgu akan realisasikan cita-cita i . i pernah tulis kat situ -kakak- . cikgu panggil pergi depan . dia cakap "tak boleh tulis ni . hurm apa kata awak tulis cita-cita yang sama dengan kakak awak" . kakak tinggal dengan aunty kat spore . setiap kali jumpa dia i akan tanya cita-cita dia . yang i ingat dia selalu sangat nak jadi deejay . percaya ke tak sampai darjah 5 i masih tulis kat kad tuh cita-cita yang sama dengan kakak .

tapi naik darjah 6 cita-cita kakak jadi cita-cita yang kedua . yang 1st i nak jadi ASTRONAUT . sebab masa tuh best sangat belajar pasal universe dengan the best science teacher [CIKGU OLIN] . itulah cerita i tentang primary school . bila UPSR dapat 5A . confident gila boleh jadi astronaut . melangkah ke secondary school [SMK (P) SULTAN IBRAHIM] , haiyak! belajar cell whatever tuh pulak . dah mula membenci science . and time tuh ayah cakap anak kawan dia jadi pensyarah . dengar pensyarah cam sedap je sebut dan dengar bunyi . start dari situ terus nak jadi pensyarah . walhal ta tahu pon pensyarah tu kerja dia buat apa .

hokay . cut the story short . seperti biasa . masalah i bila nak final year mesti cita-cita asal gone ke mana . yeah . form 5 im in love with account subject . belakang buku kot ada tulis bidang kerja untuk account students . cikgu , accountant , auditor and etc. dengar accountant cam best , so tukar lagi cita-cita nak jadi accountant . ahahaha ! so bile SPM result announced . alhamdulillah . agak memuaskan terutamanya account subject . than , masuk matrik [KOLEJ MATIKULASI MELAKA] dengan account course . lecturer cakap kaya jadi auditor . sebulan boleh dapat rm30K . fuh apa lagi . tukar ambition sekali lagi .

recently received an offer to further degree in account at UNIVERSITY UTARA MALAYSIA . insyaAllah akan mendaftar pada 4hb Julai 2010 . i can't really sure who i'll be after 4 years time . most probably AUDITOR or ACCOUNTANT or others ? i don't know . for the time now , i will try my very best to study and get my degree asap . i always wanted to make ayah , mama , kakak and all my family proud to have me . once i accept the offer , i knew that i must go all the way till the end . 4 years is shorter for those who make their dream come true [haih sedapkan hati sebenarnya] .

ReFrEsHiNg

obviously i felt very happy for having a short break with my minnie . eventhough we just went to jusco at seremban 2 . chill and bowling had totally freshen my mind . lagi2 dengan minnie . cha ailafyu . i met her friends . baru kenal tapi da macam kenal lama . had a great time with yol . cha used to tell me that seremban wasn't that fun and boring . siap cakap ta ada big apple . however we finally found there is one outlet over there . how cool . we ate like crazy . yummy ! well seremban agak panas . i used to drink a lot of plain water . haus sgt . ahaha .

***

next we go to kl . im so excited cause we're going by train . jakun (org seremban kata gayat) . ahaha . it costs RM5.40 from seremban to BTS . my nephew and niece were the tour guide . there were so many places we went on that day . masjid jamek . central market . pavillion . sg wang . lot 10 . times square . we walked to those places okay . here some of snapshot during our day out . agaga . jalan2 . shopping2 . makan2 . tapi balek tuh memang kaki macam nak patah .

me , ferdy andy and bella

choose babeh

the birdies are so aggresive

nama dia RAIN

***

just the day before i got back to jb . aisyah and her mum took me to Port Dickson beach . it was awesome ! i love it . ta swim pon . just walking around . eat . and shopping . ghee .

nyummy

banana boat

i just love the fresh air

after buying some stuff for mama ayah . i got this one for myself . weee .

well im just sharing my quality time . after hard and tough work . im just taking a short break to relax . worth it i can say . everyone deserves a good time . including me .

fall in hate with me?

oh hate me. i won't care either way. there's nothing you can do that will break me apart. nothing you can do to shatter me to pieces. go ahead hate me for everything you never were. go ahead hate me for everything you'll never be if that's what makes you happy. no one can speak with my voice, say my piece, smile with my smile, or shine my light. no one can take my place, for it is myself alone to fill. you just hate me cause you ain't me.

useless

mama selalu bagi apa yang i nak.. mama selalu percaya pada i.. mama buat banyak benda untuk i.. tapi look at me.. i selalu sakitkan hati mama.. i selalu lawan cakap mama.. i selalu kecewakan mama.. even i knew that i was wrong but yet still repeating the same mistakes over and over again.. i selalu cakap dengan diri i sendiri.. hidup i hanya untuk buat mama and ayah bangga dengan i.. anak satu-satunya lah konon.. tapi apa yang i buat?? im totally useless.. sebab benda kecik i ta pasal pasal marah mama.. kan derhaka namanya tu?? bodoh ke bangang?? mama mesti nangis dalam hati.. dia mesti rasa bersalah.. dia mesti doa mintak Allah ampunkan dosa anak dia ni.. tapi anak dia ni ta penah sedar diri.. tak pernah jaga hati dia.. tapi dia tetap sabar.. dia tak pernah cakap i teruk ke apa.. mama, zura taw zura bukan anak yang baik.. i didn't mean to say what i said just now.. it was totally a mistake.. tapi i terlalu ego untuk mengaku kesalahan i depan mama.. apatah lagi na mintak maaf.. bila tengok muka mama tidur.. tenang dan nyenyak.. i rasa sangat menyesal.. i selalu cakap tak kan boleh hidup kalau ta de mama.. tp mama ada pon i bukan hargai dia.. orang selalu cakap kat mama.. mama untung sebab ada anak perempuan seorang ni je.. pandai.. baik.. boleh diharap untuk jaga dia.. mama selalu senyum bahagia bila semua orang cakap macam tu.. tapi apa kenyataannya?? apa yang betul?? anak yang seorang ni lah yang selalu hancurkan hati dia.. yang buat hidup dia susah.. i betul2 kecewa dengan diri sendiri.. well i'll try to be better next time..

HURT

i'm so tired of pretending. everything is ok. but actually it wasn't. my tears is starting to show and my smile is fading away. i put my heart into all that i wanted with u and u showed me time and time again that i'm not worth the sacrifice. well u won't really miss me until i'm gone. so much pain. i don't want this feeling. my scars are deep and cannot be healed. i'm forever wounded. forever in pain. i can't recover. i am too hurt. why would u cause me this? how could u do this to me? what are u doing to me? what did i ever do to u? the only thing i've ever done is love u. so it's just best if i keep it to myself before i lose too much. but the mostly is i hate that i don't hate u. well someday all will make perfect sense. so for now, i will laugh at the confusion. i will smile through the tears. and keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason.

my minnie part 2

this is SITI AISYAH BINTI MOHD RAZALI
she is my minnie
she is my first-to-be bestfriend during matriculation programme
i do love her like damn fucking much
she is my bestest roomate i've ever had
she has chemistry, physics, biology, accounts, economy, business and everything with me
she has such a lovely smile and i know she never knew that
she eat a lot just like me
she loves to help people eventhough sometimes she's the one who needed help
she is my teacher and i've promise to her that my future children will know about it one day
she loves to figure out some unfigurable matters (well that makes her different from the others)
she hates ulat sampah like hell
she dislike yellow
she likes pink and purple just like me
she loves to laugh just like the way i am
she's a big fan of faizal tahir

well i may not know everything about her
i may not be her bestest friend
i may not as intelligent as her
i may not have a lovely smile as her
i may not be by her side
i may not be a good friend for her

but a thing for sure is i may die if i lose her

daisy sayang minnie