SWEET EIGHTEEN

haih... there's happy and sad part. firstly its my first birthday without mama and ayah. rasa sayu pon ada. walaupun i tau diorang tak lupekan i but im still hoping that we can be together at this moment. whatever it is... im really thankful that Allah still giving me the chance to live. Alhamdulillah i can still see the moon and the sun. i can still laugh and cry. 18 tahun memang rasa sekejap tapi sepanjang masa tu terlalu banyak naik turun and susah senang yang i tempuh. honestly it was not an easy journey for me. terlalu banyak dugaan yang i lalui. but still ada jugak yang fun. i feel really great to have so many people that wanted to share their love with me. thanks a lot guys... my life would sucks without all of u. well... i hope i can change to a better person in the future. i wish i can achieve what im targeting. so many wishes and i hope Allah tak marah. in fact i sangat berharap Allah akan fulfill kan. ok la... to all buddies that wishing me my birthday... i can only say thanks and i really appreciate it. love u guys so much...

LIVE LOVE LAUGH

G.U.I.L.T.Y

i really dunno what to say... haih... i know its not fair for him. firstly i memang main-main nak kenakan dia. but how to say ya. i yang terkena. i pon tak faham y. well i got to know a guy. i used to talk to him as when i need him. we used to talk so many things till he said that he fall for me. omg i memang tak sangka its so happen like that. i know it sounds really normal but like i said just now i nak mainkan dia. so... i pon buat2 la terima dia. yang teruk lagi dia dah betul2 nak serius with me. sampai dia cerita semua about his life. dari situ i dapat tahu yang he got problem with his life. dia dah tak ada ibu. dia ceritalah semua kesedihan hidup dia. i jadi kesian sebab i tak honest dengan dia. i dah mainkan perasaan dia. i tipu dia. i know i memang kejam. tapi i really tak sampai hati nak bagitau dia the truth. lagi teruk sebab dia pernah cakap kalau i pergi dari hidup dia. dia sure akan mati. dia sangat baik. dia ada semua ciri lelaki yang semua perempuan nak. tapi sayangnya bukan i. i betul2 tak boleh buka hati i. cukuplah sekali i pernah hilang orang yang i sayang dulu. i serius takut pisang berbuah 2 kali. susah i rawat hati yang pernah hancur satu masa dulu. i tak rela ia jadi lagi.

sorry.. bukan niat pape. just want to share...

girls next door

this is my room. it's simple but nice. firstly it was so hard to adapt from house to a hostel. honestly house is much more better than hostel. lots of things need to be done on my own. baju nak kena basuh sendiri. makan pon kena beli sendiri. kadang2 penat jugak la. plus dah la duduk tingkat 4. fuh memang pancit.

i just wanted to share some of the angle side of my room. a bit messy cus hidup kat matriks memang macam ni. agak kelam kabut. everythings need to be fast and rushing. yela kan setahun je kat sini. mula2 memang huru hara gak. tapi lama2 da biasa.

well, i used to stay with another 3 roomates which are AISYAH, FAFA and SYAZIE. mereka semua ok. its just they are not in the same course as mine. so a bit problem when it comes to study matters.

as a conclusion is i got so many new experience of being here. i found so many people with so many actions. we're come from different states but we're still the same. we're sharing the happiness, laugh and joy.

sayang korang semua especially budak2 wing A aras 4.

burst!!!

well this may hurting. sorry for that. how am i going to start this? erm.. im in a big problem now. being in matrix was really hard for me. in the first place im doing this for my future. the thing is.. now my mum at my nenek's house. nenek yang urus mama sekarang because dah tak ada maid. now can u imagine that? sepatutnya i yang jaga my mum. but i just can't do that because im here at matrix doing my study. what kind of daughter am i? selfish?! ungrateful?! maybe im the next si tanggang.. i feel like dying when thinking all this. somehow i think i need to back off from my plan. yela kalau mama boleh berkorban nyawa lahirkan i. then siap susah payah besarkan i lagi. tak salah if i berkorban pulak. tapi how bout my dad? i know ayah sangat berharap i dapat segulung ijazah tu. tapi..ntahla. semuanya masih dalam pertimbangan. hope i can solve this problem asap.

Ya Allah... berilah petunjukmu...